Since I’m pumped someone actually responded to my blog, and one of them requested a beer review, here we go. To be honest I’m not that good of a reviewer so it’s probably fitting that I start out with a beer that’s not very good either. Tailgate Beer IPA.
I found some of this for $6.99 a 6-pack and thought it might be worth a shot. I was planning on doing some ice fishing, and bottles are kind of a drag out there. I wasted a clean glass to check this stuff out.
The color was about right (copper), and it smelled way too malty for an IPA. This stuff sorta tastes like an IPA, but a really cheap one. Reminds me of malt liquor. I would not recommend it. I can drink it, but I’m not real picky. It DID have alcohol in it after all….about 5%.
Since I could use some work on my beer review skills, I though we’d look to this article by Todd on BeerAdvocate.com to understand what we’re looking for.
“There are five categories to evaluating a beer with your review:
Appearance – Note the beer’s color, carbonation, head and its retention. Is it clear or cloudy? Does it look lackluster and dull or alive and inviting?
Smell – Bring the beer to your nose. Note the beer’s aromatic qualities. Malts: sweet, roasty, smoky, toasty, chocolaty, nutty, caramelly, biscuity? Hops: dank / resiny, herbal, perfumy, spicy, leafy, grassy, floral, piney, citrusy? Yeast will also create aromas. You might get fruity or flowery aromas (esters) from ales and very clean aromas from lagers, which will allow the malt and hop subtleties to pull through.
Taste – Take a deep sip of the beer. Note any flavors, or interpretations of flavors, that you might discover. The descriptions will be similar to what you smell. Is the beer built-well? Is there a balance between the ingredients? Was the beer brewed with a specific dominance of character in mind? How does it fit the style?
Mouthfeel – Take another sip and let it wander. Note how the beer feels on the palate and its body. Light, heavy, chewy, thin / watery, smooth or coarse? Was the beer flat, over-carbonated?
Overall – Your overall impression of the beer”
Okay, that makes sense. I suppose I could get used to thinking about all these things every time I try a new beer. Though it always helps to have an example to see how the format is put into action. Here’s an interesting review of Tailgate IPA from VelvetExtract in Massachusetts.
“Appearance-Pours a hazy scorched orange. Huge, voluminous head. Bubbles rise frm the base of the beer to feed the foamy afro. Thick, sporadic lacing blotches.
Smell-Grimace inducing. Sweet and soapy. Honey and…soap. Oh yeah! There is also an abundance of…honey and soap.
Taste-Holy horseshit Batman! This is one of the worst beers I have ever slurped! Venom! Metal and sickening sweetness with a hint of remedial hops. Like sucking on a penny covered in that frightening green rust. The fact that I bought a six-pack of this makes me want to assault someone. Asswater.
Mouthfeel-I hate you Tailgate. Sticky and clingy.
O/D-In contention for the title of the prestigous “Worst of the Worst” award. Absolutely insulting. Quite easily the worst beer I have had yet. At least the plethora of bad Macro brews aren’t pretending to be craft beers. In terms of this beer: IPA = Imbibing Pungent Asswater.”
So apparently VelvetExtract didn’t like it much either. I don’t want to know what asswater is or how he knows what it tastes like, but unfortunately I know what it tastes like because I drank that beer! Don’t make the same mistake. I do have a few left which I plan to pawn off on unsuspecting friends who have not read my blog.